Dear Srila Prabhupada,
from the pitch-dark dirt of sinfulness accumulated for millions of lifetimes on my soul, you have picked me up and placed me in the association of your faithful servants. By your mercy this Krishna consciousness movement has spread to every town and every village and daily more and more people are coming in contact with that beautiful yuga dharma of harinama sankirtana. May it increase more and more. By your mercy, devotees are advancing in their realization and purity and thus are becoming your faithful represenatives capable of giving shelter to fallen souls like myself. So many have come! Without such mercy manifested through your faithful servants and followers I am a non-entity fit to be forgotten in the waves of samsara never to be mentioned by name by any decent human being.
Oh Prabhupada, you have a genuine love for Krishna and thus every word you speak is so precious to me being saturated with pure emotion for the Lord. Similarly, you have a genuine love for your own guru maharaja, Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Saraswati Thakura, which you have proven by living your life for him and for him only. Thus you are showing us by your practical example in relation to your guru maharaja, how we can approach you, our dear spiritual master. Thinking of your devotion and sincerity, I hear my own glorification of you as a mere barking of a dog and lament it nothing but disturbs your pure uninterrupted samadhi on Krishna. I lament over this and lament over my own position -the lowest of mankind incapable to reciprocate the flood of beneditions you have showed to me. Unfortunately even in this I take great pride. Lowest of mankind. That is my disease. vyasa puja
Your every step is a dance and your every word is a song, all for the pleasure of your beloved Krishna. O master, I weep bitterly since I have not developed even a droplet of the love you feel for Him and thus have become a disgrace and disappointment to you. How can I ever associate with you, oh purest of the pure, the sum total of all demigods? Taking my hand you are strongly dragging me to Him, your eyes full of compassion, but I want to stay and falling madly with that attractive girl of the name Maya I am seeing my human form of life expiring in front of my own eyes. Will you come again as you did unlimited number of times and lift me with your sweet words full of Krishna consciousness that are piercing my contaminated heart like arrows dipped in poison? Indeed, Krishna katha feels like a poison to an envious wretched soul like myself. Still you are feeding me with this poison risking your reputation of being called a poison-giver.
Will you look at me again after you catch me in Maya's embrace fully absorbed in the hypnotising movements of her temporary fleeting beauty? Keeping firm faith in the unlimited stock of your compassion that your heart is made of, I fall at your feet begging for your mercy. Please engage me in your service.
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