Everybody is looking for love. Through conjugal relationships, family, friends, society, etc. In the material world, the most pleasurable means of exchanging affection is through a conjugal relationship, but why exactly is this union so pleasing, and what does a temporary relationship mean for an eternal spirit soul?
Everything in this plane of existence is only a perverted reflection of what is found in the eternal, spiritual world. Prabhupada says, 'That relationship is pervertedly reflected in this material world. That relationship. Somebody is related with Kṛṣṇa as master and servant. That is reflected here also. There is master and servant, but both of them are cheating one another. The master is trying to exploit the servant, and the servant is trying to exploit the master. They are also forming unions, how to exact money from the capitalists, and the capitalists trying to exploit this labor from the laborers.' - Lecture on B.G August 4 1968
This mutual exploitation can also be used to describe conjugal relationships in the material world. The female is looking for protection, the male is looking for someone to Lord it over and both of them are after sex life.
The illusory energy of the Lord (Maya) is described as being very sweet in the beginning and very bitter in the end. This illusory energy is what is keeping us in the temporary existence. We have a tendency to forget of our eternal nature, thinking: ‘I am a girl, I am a boy, I am so and so's husband, I am a cat or a dog.’ When we identify with the material nature, we become entangled in her intricacies, hankering and lamenting for things which are temporary and do not belong to us. Even when we do recieve Maya's benedictions, they can not give any real pleasure to us, as we have a spiritual nature.
'In our materialistic way of life, which is just like a desert, we are hankering after an ocean of happiness, but in the form of society, friends and mundane love we are getting no more than a drop of water' - Krishna Book, Chapter 20
In the spiritual world, Krishna has conjugal relationships, this is why we are also able to have this nice mellow between boyfriend and girlfriend or husband and wife. Nothing can exist in this material world without first existing in the spiritual world. The only difference is that Krishna, his associates and his pastimes are fully transcendental and pure whereas our activities are material and motivated by lust. Conditioned living entities look for eternal pleasure in the temporary material bodies of their counterparts, but this sense gratification is likened to the scratching of an itch. It is very temporary relief which agitates the senses even more, thus causing even more hankering and lamentations. The only way to find real pleasure is by serving our creator, Krishna. As when you water the root of a tree, all the leaves and branches are nourished, so when you please the source of all creation you, as his part and parcel, are also pleased.
Now, renouncing everything in search of God sounds very difficult, and it is indeed an austere path, but not in the way you might think.
anāsaktasya viṣayān
yathārham upayuñjataḥ
nirbandhaḥ kṛṣṇa-sambandhe
yuktaṁ vairāgyam ucyate
prāpañcikatayā buddhyā
hari-sambandhi-vastunaḥ
mumukṣubhiḥ parityāgo
vairāgyaṁ phalgu kathyate
'When one is not attached to anything, but at the same time accepts everything in relation to Kṛṣṇa, one is rightly situated above possessiveness. On the other hand, one who rejects everything without knowledge of its relationship to Krishna is not as complete in his renunciation.'
Renunciation does not mean starving yourself, not speaking and not eating. Actually, Krishna consciousness includes sex, feasting and the best jokes. Real renunciation is to utilize everything in the service of Krishna. If one wishes to, he can get married and utilize his sex desire to create Krishna conscious children. Whereas a material relationship further entangles one in the web of material miseries, a Krishna conscious relationship is unbinding the living entities from the material nature. This is because rather than exploiting one another, the devotee couple are pushing each other to Krishna, the ocean of transcendental bliss.
So if a life of celibacy sounds very unappealing to you, don't worry! Get yourself a Hare Krishna boy/girl and get outta here :D
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